I am doing something quite exciting this weekend.
Sure, I have my fears about it, but the fun will far outweigh them, I hope.
I am going to Winchester, to the Apple Blossom Festival. Friday, I will speak to a group of 300 ladies in the horticultural society. And, I will get to ride in the parade!
First, the horticultural society. I truly have nothing related to horticulture in my seemingly vast repertoire. I know that, if any of the horticultural mavens should happen to view my lawn – well, call it what it is: A yard — they would gasp, and boot me out the door. So, I won’t mention it.
In fact, I won’t speak about anything related to horticulture. I was invited because the ladies in charge like my columns that appear monthly in Cooperative Living magazine. It has 500,000 readers – at least that’s how many receive it. How many read it? That’s another guess altogether.
I learned last week that I only have 15 minutes to speak. The ladies, as you might expect, are focused on getting to lunch. I probably will be, too.
So, I have scrounged through the hundreds of columns on my computer, and chosen just three that I know they probably haven’t seen, because I wrote them for other publications. I think they’re three of my most humorous. I will do some self-effacing intro (probably about my yard, after all), then read the columns. Then, I will throw out that standby of speakers everywhere: “Any questions?” If not, then that’s on them, and I am done!
I have never ridden in a parade and waved to the crowds. And there are surely crowds here. Every year, the festival attracts some 100,000 people. Don’t know if they all attend the parade (probably not), but I will wave to everyone there. Most of them, I figure, will have no idea who I am. That’s okay.
I did march once in this parade, way back when I was a majorette at VCU. And, oh yeah, Brownie and I marched with the “dog ladies” in the Hot Springs Christmas parade one year. Brownie managed to slip out of the decorative Christmas collar I’d bought her, and ran off to greet one of her great friends. I did not notice this. Therefore, it wasn’t long before someone hollered out from the crowd, “You’re walking an empty leash!” Oops.
There are all kinds of parties and dances at the Apple Blossom Festival. The big celebrity will be Terry Bradshaw. I don’t know about football, but I do think Terry Bradshaw is a funny, likable guy. Maybe I’ll get to dance with him! No idea what I might say if I the occasion arises.
The whole weekend is one huge whirl of parties, dances, and parades. There is one tiny break in there, where I will be driven back to my hotel to change for the next event. They’ve allotted me 15 minutes.
One great thing is, that I will be driven anywhere and everywhere by a couple, whom I do not know. At least, I won’t have to find my way in a strange city, and then locate a parking space.
The organizers are putting me up in a nice hotel for two nights. That will be almost a novelty. I truly do not remember the last time I stayed in a hotel, anywhere.
So this week, I’ve got a lot of planning and packing to do. I really have almost “nothing to wear.” The theme is pink and green and white. Oh, if only many of the pink and green things in my closets still fit!
Wish me well. I’m headed into a flurry of what I hope will be fun … and I gotta love that!
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