The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I’m 15 and I really like this boy, but I can’t find the courage to ask him out. I’m pretty sure he likes me, too, because whenever we’re together he holds my hand or puts his arms around me.
He has a great smile and personality. We have many things in common, such as we both play an instrument, we make each other laugh and we’re both close with our families. What I don’t understand is why he hasn’t made a move yet to ask me out. — NEEDS LOVE HELP
DEAR NEEDS LOVE HELP: I can think of a few reasons, and none of them have anything to do with how much he likes you. He may not be able to afford to ask you out, he may feel shy, he may not feel ready to date, or his parents may prefer that he concentrate on something other than romance.
Some teens get around this by socializing in groups, so instead of asking him “out,” consider asking if he’d like to join you and a group of your friends sometime.
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DEAR ABBY: I’m an 18-year-old woman who lives at home with my parents. I have been seeing an amazing person for a while now. There is just one problem. My mother has decided to put “rules” on our relationship.
By rules, I mean: a curfew, how often I see him, where I am to be with him and various other things. Also, she randomly blurts out that I am “never to move in with him until I am married.” I don’t plan on moving in with him until we both have our college degrees.
I am technically an adult, which means to me that I can make my own decisions and suffer the consequences if there are any. I know I live in my parents’ home. I follow their rules and respect their wishes — but this is a bit extreme, don’t you think?
Abby, please advise me on how to explain to my mom that I’m an adult and not a newborn baby as she regards me? — NOT A CHILD ANYMORE IN OHIO
DEAR NOT A CHILD: Although you may be an adult in the eyes of the law in Ohio, you are not INDEPENDENT. As long as you are dependent upon your parents for shelter, food or anything else there is a price you will have to pay. In this case, the price you are paying is your mother’s loving but hawklike supervision. And if you think you or I can talk her out of it, you’re dreaming.
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DEAR ABBY: My wife and I were invited to my brother’s wedding, and we accepted. Later, my brother asked me to be a groomsman.
My wife is upset because I didn’t ask her if she minded that I’ll be in the wedding and I will walk down the aisle with one of the bridesmaids. She feels that my walking with another woman is a “date” and disrespectful to her. Is it proper wedding etiquette to accept an invitation to be in a wedding if you are married? — GROOMSMAN IN THE SOUTH
DEAR GROOMSMAN: It is very common for the brother of the groom to be in his wedding party — and marital status has nothing to do with it. Escorting an assigned bridesmaid to and from the altar is NOT a “date,” nor is it disrespectful to your wife, who may really be upset because she wasn’t also asked to be part of the wedding party.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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