The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old niece is getting married in four months. Five years ago, she lost her father in a tragic accident while her parents were on vacation. Since that time, she has come out as gay and grown closer to me than to her mom (my sister).
I was always close to my sister and both of her daughters while they were growing up and helped out financially when times were tough. My sister recently remarried and plans to move to another state with her new husband prior to the wedding.
My niece has asked me to walk her down the aisle along with my sister. My sister said it’s disrespectful to her since she is the mother. I don’t want to hurt my sister or my niece. My niece says it’s both of us or neither one. (There are no grandparents.)
I told her I want to sit with my husband for the wedding and that her mom should walk her down the aisle. The other bride’s parents will be walking their daughter down the aisle. I know it’s my niece’s wedding and she should have what she wants, but I feel stuck in the middle. Any suggestions? — TORN IN TWO IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR TORN: I do have one. You have already told your niece you would prefer to sit with your husband rather than cause resentment from your sister. Your niece feels strongly about having you walk with her, and it is her wedding. You might suggest walking her halfway down the aisle and then handing her off to her mother. But leave the final decision where it belongs — which is with the bride.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 19-year-old guy and live with my parents. We have this neighbor, “Ed,” who, until recently, was friends with my dad. We’ve hung out with him several times and have even gone over to each other’s houses to watch sports games and eat dinner.
The problem is, Ed has become very overbearing and strange. He has always been a little off the wall, which, at first, we both found hilarious. But since then, his foul language and vulgarities have rubbed us the wrong way. He’s disrespectful to his wife and son, which I know isn’t my business, but Dad and I are over it. Lately, Ed has been constantly calling and texting my dad. Now he has started texting me asking why my father isn’t responding. I don’t know how he got my number. Last month, Ed walked into our house through our sliding glass door while I was home alone watching TV.
Dad seems to want to just ignore the issue, but I think it’s the wrong move. Should I approach this nosy and indignant neighbor? — UNEASY IN ILLINOIS
DEAR UNEASY: No, you should not. Keep that sliding glass door locked. And, if you receive any more texts from this man, block him. You are not required to discuss your father’s or your change in attitude with him.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
