The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: Do charities and nonprofits share or sell donor information? For years, maybe decades, I’ve made quarterly contributions to two well-known charities for children’s cancer research hospitals, and I truly believe in what they do. However, over the last few years, I have started receiving an increasing number of requests for money.
One continues to send me quarterly requests, and I promptly write a check. But the other one started sending mailings every month, then every week and now multiple times a week, not to mention the newer “legacy program” (naming them in my will). I have also received messages on my landline phone, text messages and emails, and none of this contact information has previously been given to them, only my mailing address.
Today, I received seven pieces of mail. Six were requests for donations, five of which I’m not familiar with, and I have gotten the feeling my name and address have been sold or shared with other nonprofits. It feels to me as if they’re spending the money I’ve donated to print and mail even more requests, and I’ll no longer donate to them. I will increase the amount of donations to local school programs.
Is there a way to get them to stop mailing me? Maybe they’ll read this and think twice about bombarding people to the point they no longer will support them. — FULL MAILBOX IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FULL MAILBOX: According to Give.org, businesses and charitable organizations do sell their clients’ or donors’ contact information to other organizations. If your name is on a list of subscribers to a special interest magazine or buyers of a certain product or service, it may wind up on a list used by various charities.
You may be able to lessen the onslaught of appeals you receive by writing directly to the charities whose mail you don’t want and asking them to delete your name from the mailing lists they rent or exchange. (A Better Business Bureau standard requires that a charity offer contributors an opt-out opportunity in its appeals at least once a year.)
Enclose the mailing label or return card that came with your appeal when you contact the charity. Be sure to add the correct postage to their envelope on which you have written “delete my name” or “return to sender” because charities’ nonprofit mailing rates do not pay for returns.
For more information on this subject, visit Give.org.
DEAR ABBY: My mom passed last year. I’m 50, and my brother is 52. He has never been good with money. He’s gullible and lets people take advantage of him. He will not let me help him.
Should I get a guardianship for him or let him fend for himself? We already have a rocky relationship. I worry that taking control of his finances will make it worse. However, I would feel guilty if he mismanaged his money, and I think Mom would want me to help him. What should I do? — MY BROTHER’S KEEPER
DEAR BROTHER’S KEEPER: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. It’s unfortunate these questions weren’t settled before her passing. Because your brother needs someone to look out for him, and you are the only one who can fill this role with his best interests in mind, discuss this with an attorney. Of course, it will need to be explained to your brother. Don’t put off talking with him, even if the subject is uncomfortable for one or both of you.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
