The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I am an 80-year-old man who is recently retired and in relatively good health. My wife is about the same. We recently received a request from our son, who is 50, for his share of the inheritance now rather than later. It came as a shock. He is selling his company, which is valued at $7 million to $8 million. He tells me he is cash poor, which affects the leverage of his sale.
While we have the money, we would have to empty our savings and cash in some investments. We are not destitute by any means and can probably manage this, but I’m wondering if I should be offended by the question of an advance inheritance. I’ve never dealt with this before and wonder if you have any thoughts about the propriety. Should I involve my other children? It affects them, too. — TAKEN ABACK IN TEXAS
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: The people you should involve in this decision are your lawyer, your CPA and your financial adviser. I hesitate to advise you to involve your other children at this point for fear it will start World War III.
DEAR ABBY: My wife constantly disrespects me. She’s controlling and puts our son and his children ahead of me. She refuses counseling, while I go to counseling often. She doesn’t want to cook for me or do anything that will make my life easier. All she does is complain, argue and pick fights.
She has now allowed our son (who is a drug addict and alcoholic) and his two small children to live with us. I have no peace in my home, and I have remained faithful despite getting no affection. I have sacrificed 25 years to be with her only to be constantly rejected. She hadn’t healed from a toxic relationship before we were married, but I didn’t know it was this bad. I need someone to love me. — ALONE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR ALONE: You say you go to counseling often. What does your therapist have to say about your sad situation? If this person is advising you to stay and be miserable, my advice is to change therapists.
DEAR ABBY: I have a fast walk, and since I have been working as a housekeeper at a local hospital, I often get comments about it. In my previous profession (waitress and bartender), that never happened, perhaps because it is common in a high-energy industry.
I usually retort with, “I’m not walking fast. You’re watching me too slow.” Interestingly, comments I receive like, “Run, run, run,” or “Where’s the fire?” are never directed at doctors, nurses or my supervisors. Maybe it’s about my age. I’m a strong, healthy and energetic 69 years young. Comments about my fast walk annoy me. I’m thinking of having T-shirts made that say on the back, “Yes, I walk fast!”
Abby, what do you think about this? Do you have a quick and slightly snarky response I could throw at these rude, insensitive people? — SPEEDY GAL IN CANADA
DEAR SPEEDY GAL: These people may not intend to be rude. Rather than look for ways to dismiss them, which would likely cause hard feelings, just smile and keep walking at your own pace. If you feel you must respond, say, “This is how I get the job done,” and keep moving.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
