The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been with my husband for 10 years. For a long time, I didn’t decorate our house because I didn’t want to spend the money. But for the last few years, I’ve spent many hours poring over Pinterest. I LOVE interior decorating and know exactly how I want each room of the house to look.
The problem is my husband. I once tried to buy a new shower curtain. It was a huge debacle because he didn’t like the one I’d chosen. Abby, I have done my homework. How do I convince my husband to give me free rein in decorating? I’m afraid every paint color and every piece of furniture is going to be an argument, and I’m so discouraged I don’t even try.
We’ve had the same curtains, bedding and dining room table for years, and our house is very ugly. Should I just start making changes without consulting him? Should I sit him down and talk to him? Is it fair of me to not take his preferences into account? — FRUSTRATED CREATIVE
DEAR FRUSTRATED: By all means, discuss this with your husband before making any changes. Under no circumstances should you make any without consulting him. It would be extremely unfair to ignore his opinion. Some compromises will have to be made. The least contentious way to accomplish this would be with the help of a professional decorator who can take both your preferences into account and help you to blend them.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 16 years, together for 22. He’s the love of my life, my sunshine and roses. He’s a great husband and an even better father.
You are probably wondering why on earth I’m writing to you. Well, his teeth are disgusting. They are stained, chipped and just gross. He is overcoming some self-esteem issues regarding his weight. He has lost a good bit, and I’m super proud of him, but how do I say, “Great job! But there’s still something wrong with you”?
For the record, his weight means nothing to me. I never pushed him to be “slim” or “buff,” but rather to be healthy and have enough stamina to keep up with our kids and get off the CPAP machine. Money and the dental expenses aren’t an issue, but he would rather spend extra money doing fun things as a family, making memories and having adventures, which is great. I just wish he could have a nice smile while doing it. Advice? — NOT QUITE PERFECT IN OHIO
DEAR NOT QUITE: Because your husband’s teeth are a turn-off, you are going to have to address the problem. Wait until he is at or near his goal weight, then tell him that although you adore him, you would find him more kissable if he would deal with his dental issue. Tell him that putting it off may make the problem more difficult to fix. Your family dentist may be able to help or refer him to a good cosmetic dentist.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
