The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I am involved with a man, “Gerald,” who is an only child and has a difficult relationship with his mother. We bought his mother’s home two years ago because she couldn’t afford it on her own. She had separated from her husband, who is not Gerald’s father.
Initially, his mother was going to stay with us, but she reunited with her husband instead. The issue is, she has not removed her personal items from our home. She’s a bit of a hoarder. Our garage is full of her stuff, and every room in our home has her furniture and personal items in it.
I have packed many of them and can no longer deal with the anxiety of the unknown waiting and wondering when she plans to move them. Gerald’s strained relationship with his mother doesn’t help the situation. I made him text his stepfather asking when the items will be picked up.
According to Gerald, his mother has control issues, and this is all part of her game. I need advice because I’m desperate. I feel Gerald is at fault for not setting an expectation when we first purchased the home. — BOXED UP IN TEXAS
DEAR BOXED UP: Call Gerald’s mother. Tell her you want her things out of your home and set a date, after which you will arrange for a moving company to deliver them to her and her husband. Be sure to give her plenty of notice — a month — so she can plan to have what items she doesn’t need placed in storage (at her expense). Will she like you for it? Heck, no. But you will be free.
DEAR ABBY: My sister was recently in the hospital. Due to swelling in her hands, it became necessary to remove her wedding band. This ring was our late father’s wedding band. If we were not successful in removing it, they were going to have to cut it off. I asked if she wanted me to take it home with me, and she nodded yes. I returned it to her when she came home.
I am now being accused by my family of stealing the ring! My sister wears only this ring, no others. But my family insists she was wearing two of our mother’s rings. Nope. Mom was buried with her original wedding ring set and her anniversary ring. (Our parents had been married more than 50 years when Dad passed away. Mom followed five years later.)
I love my family, but right now I’d rather not speak to them for a while. Should I forget the accusation made against me, or keep my distance for my own benefit? — ACCUSED IN MISSOURI
DEAR ACCUSED: You didn’t mention who, exactly, is accusing you of stealing the ring. Is it your sister? She knows how many rings she was wearing when she went to the hospital and should be able to straighten these relatives out. If she cannot or will not do that, for the sake of your mental well-being, it might be better to avoid your accusers until this is resolved.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
