The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: Over the years, my younger sister, “Hannah,” has been lying about some significant things, such as: She claims she was there alone with our dad when he died; that our older sister tried to talk her into signing herself into a state mental hospital; that my boyfriend was imaginary, etc.
Her most recent fabrication, told to an elderly relative, is that our mother put Hannah unattended on a plane from New York to Virginia when she was 12, with a layover in Philadelphia. She said a man on the plane befriended her and took her to the VIP lounge, where he gave her wine and abandoned her there. The trip was supposedly to go to our older sister’s to assist with a newborn baby.
A quick math check showed the baby wasn’t born until Hannah was 15. When that fact was presented to her, Hanna said, “Well, then the trip was for some other reason.” Our older sister says Hannah NEVER came to Virginia on a plane or otherwise. This most recent lie has bothered me more than the others because I thought Hannah was doing better.
Many people have suggested to her that she might benefit from medication, but she refuses to even consider that. Should I just let it go? I couldn’t say she was a danger to herself or others, so reporting her behavior wouldn’t get her the help she needs. — FAR FROM THE TRUTH
DEAR FAR: Your sister is a fabulist — someone who composes or relates fables and invents elaborate, untrue stories. From what you have described, she cannot help herself. Some people do this because they need to be the center of attention. You aren’t going to change Hannah, and medication won’t make her condition go away. Let it go.
DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, with the support of my wife, I voluntarily gave up driving. I have some minor memory problems and depth perception issues. I leave the house only when I walk the dog or my wife drives me somewhere. Being practically housebound has caused my mental health to deteriorate.
I would like to revisit this driving privileges issue with my wife. I will propose that I enroll in a remedial driving school to relearn my skills. My wife is dead set against it. I’m not sure she would be amenable to driving remediation. What do you think? — MISSES MOBILITY IN OHIO
DEAR MISSES MOBILITY: I can understand your wife’s reluctance to allow you to resume driving. Driving lessons may not be enough to compensate for your vision problem, and if there is a danger of your becoming lost (again) and winding up God knows where, you should not be behind the wheel.
This, however, DOESN’T mean you must remain imprisoned in the house. Explore what public transportation is available in your city. If it is not convenient, consider using a driving service — Uber and Lyft come to mind — to take you where you want to go. They are as simple to use as installing their apps and typing in your desired destination. Check them out. Many people of every age use and enjoy them.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
