Dave Says – It Takes Courage to Cry

Dear Dave,

 

My wife and I are on Baby Step 7, and we have a household income of $127,000 a year. We have an older dog who has had some very expensive vet bills recently. It has us both wondering how far, financially speaking, we should be willing to go to keep him alive. We both really love our dog, so we would appreciate your thoughts in the event we have to make a really hard decision somewhere down the road.

 

Jeff

 

Dear Jeff,

 

Wow … You’re really trying to get me into trouble, aren’t you? First of all, let me say this: I. Love. Dogs. I really do. I’ve had several during my life, and right now, I have one I like more than most people I know.

That being said, this little animal that I love like crazy is still … a dog. It’s not one of my grandchildren, and it’s not one of my kids. If you were to ask me how much money I’d spend to keep one of my kids or grandkids alive, the answer is simple — all the money I’ve got. Everything. I’ve started over from nothing before, and I could do it again. But there’s your answer. 

Now, here’s something that’s going to be hard for a few folks to hear. With some people who love their animals as much as I do, what I’ve observed is that the whole relationship can become more about the human than the animal. I’ve seen people spend tens of thousands of dollars to keep their pets alive, even though the animals were still suffering. At that point, it’s not fair to the animal. And unfortunately, that’s what often ends up happening with this kind of situation.

Listen, I understand this. I’m not bad-mouthing anyone, because I’ve experienced these kinds of feelings, too. I’ve had to have animals put to sleep, and I’ll be 100% honest with you: I’ve sat there and cried — I mean flat-out sobbed — while it happened. And in my mind, that’s a better path to take sometimes, rather than selfishly letting the animal spend its last weeks or months in pain just because you don’t want to go through something difficult.

Now, if you can fix the animal — if you can give it a more-or-less normal, pain-free life by spending some money and actually correcting the problem — then, sure. Do it. There’s no rule of thumb or percentage on something like this. If you actually have the money, let’s get them fixed up. But if it takes going deep into debt, wrecking your finances or leaving your family scrambling to make ends meet as a result — then, no. I’m sorry. You should honor and love that wonderful little animal well enough that you don’t make them suffer for you.

I hope you understand this, Jeff, and that it makes sense to you. God bless you all, and God bless that old pup. I hope you’ll have many more happy days together.

 

— Dave