The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I found out my husband has been corresponding with prostitutes he picked up when we went on vacation. He emailed them twice, but the second one hurt me the most. He sent her money. I confronted him and was ready to end the marriage, but we have a son.
He denied having sexual contact with the women and said he was just flirting, so I forgave him. But I told him I won’t tolerate it a third time. He agreed to have marriage counseling and do his part to convince me he will change.
Is it worth it to try again for the sake of our son? I don’t trust him anymore, but I still love him. — READY TO LET GO
DEAR READY: When a man gives money to a hooker, it’s usually for a reason. The reason isn’t charity; it’s for services he wants rendered. (And they don’t take money in arrears.)
No one can decide for you whether or not to stay in the marriage, but before making any decisions, make it your first priority to contact your doctor and be checked for STDs. Who knows what your husband might have picked up while “flirting.”
If you do decide to remain in the marriage, you’d be wise to schedule regular appointments for STD checkups. Your husband has shown himself to be not only a philanderer but also a liar.
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DEAR ABBY: I have been meaning to write to you for a long time. Now that we have gone through another year of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, would you PLEASE acknowledge those of us who did NOT have a parent who deserved to be honored? SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BE PARENTS! I dread these commercialized days every year. Our planet does not lack for population. We don’t need more people.
There are horror stories every day in the media about child abuse, yet you honor these people without qualification.
For those who have parents who deserve to be honored, I’m happy for you. But the celebration is only salt in the wounds of those of us who wish we’d never been born. — ONE OF THEM IN LONGMONT, COLO.
DEAR ONE OF THEM: I agree that the commercialization of certain holidays can be painful for those who cannot join in the celebration. This would include children and adults who were abused or neglected by their parents, as well as those who no longer have living parents.
I doubt many people remain childless for the public good. Usually there are deeply personal reasons for it. For people who are childless by choice, every day is an affirmation of their decision. However, for those who want children and cannot have them, their loss can be excruciating.
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DEAR ABBY: Can you give any advice for a male in his 50s who is still a virgin, who is afraid of being intimate and hasn’t even kissed a girl since high school? Is it OK to live and enjoy life this way, or is sex something that every human should experience? — CURIOUS IN FLORIDA
DEAR CURIOUS: If someone is happy and enjoying life having never had sexual relations, then it’s OK. However, if you are still a virgin because of fear of intimacy, this is something to discuss with a psychologist to help you understand what caused your fear and inability to trust, because you could be getting more out of life than you have settled for.
