The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I started dating my boyfriend a month ago. On our third date he informed me that he was previously married. It lasted two years and he has been divorced for almost a year. It didn’t bother me, so I let it go.
He introduced me to his two roommates — one of them is female. After spending a day with them, I noticed he had an odd relationship with her. When I asked him about it later, he said she’s his ex-wife. They live together and share basically everything, including groceries and a laptop. He can’t seem to understand why I’m disturbed by this.
He says the decision to divorce was mutual and that they have both been seeing other people for a while. I adore him and hate to end a fantastic relationship because I’m jealous. I have no life experience to prepare me to handle this sort of situation, so I don’t know what to do. Help! — TAKEN ABACK IN PITTSBURGH
DEAR TAKEN ABACK: Sometimes when a person doesn’t know what to do, the best thing to do is — nothing. Your relationship is very new. Stay calm and see how it develops. If you both decide to take it to the next level, the living arrangements may change to something you’re more comfortable with.
******
DEAR ABBY: My 70-something-year-old mother is being remarried soon. I’m happy she has found love again after my father’s passing. Several of her friends are throwing her a lingerie shower to celebrate. Abby, I am uncomfortable attending this party.
I asked that she exclude me from the list, but yesterday I received an invitation. Hooray! She has a new life which involves new love. I just don’t want to think of my mother in that role. Am I wrong to not want to attend? — THEY GROW UP SO FAST
DEAR T.G.U.S.F.: You’re not wrong. While most of us are aware that we did not arrive via immaculate conception, few of us want to dwell on the reality of our parents as sexual beings. Because you have already told your mother how you feel, simply respond to the invitation by saying you are unable to attend.
******
DEAR ABBY: I often read letters in your column you refer to as “Pennies From Heaven.” I have something I’d like to share with you.
I believe that I have received such gifts from my older brother, Shane, who passed away as an infant. I found one the other day that can’t be explained away as anything but a penny from heaven.
As I was about to leave for my morning commute to work, I went out to the garage where I keep my bike, helmet and biking gloves. As I pulled my glove on, I found — you guessed it! — a penny was lodged in the little finger. I never keep money where these gloves are, so I can only guess that Shane put it there for me. — LOVED LITTLE SISTER IN INDIANA
DEAR LOVED LITTLE SISTER: The penny may indeed have been a token of your angel brother’s affection. Keep it for luck while you’re on the road, and pedal on with confidence
knowing you’re being lovingly watched over from above.
******
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
Write Dear Abby at www.Dear-Abby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
