The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I have a grown daughter who is most likely an alcoholic. I am not a doctor, so I really don’t know. We live in different cities. A few years ago, she was sitting on the sidewalk outside her apartment dead drunk and holding a lit cigarette. Someone saw her passed out and called the police, who took her to jail. To this day, she accuses me of having called the police. It wasn’t me. I didn’t know what was happening. This makes me furious. I have no reason to lie to her.
The next morning, her boss called me looking for her. We found out later she had been arrested. After talking with her boss, I did phone the police to ask if maybe she was at the station. I live 30 miles away. I’m angry because I’m being falsely accused. I know I need to let this go, but she triggers me every time she brings it up, and it’s been five years! Please help me. — DRAMA MAMA IN TEXAS
DEAR DRAMA MAMA: Whoever called the police to report that there was a woman passed out on the curb did your daughter a favor. She was vulnerable and was taken to safety. Whatever your daughter’s problem is, whether it’s alcohol, some other substance or mental health issues, she is clearly a troubled individual. When she accuses you, don’t bother getting into an argument with her. Reiterate that whoever it was did her a favor and then change the subject.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old woman who’s never been in any sort of relationship with a man and, yes, I’m a virgin. For some reason, I am surrounded by women at school and at work. The one time I tried dating a colleague, it turned into the office romance from hell. I was publicly rejected, and he ended up with another female colleague. Since then, there has been — nothing.
I’m resigned to not being in a relationship, but at this point, I want to stop being a virgin. I’m considering hiring an escort to help me with my issue in a last-ditch attempt to experience what it’s like. I’m tired of waiting for that one man who will probably never show. Should I go ahead with my escort plan or keep waiting aimlessly like an idiot? — ALONE AND CONFUSED IN NEW YORK
DEAR ALONE: I recommend against it. For a man, this might be a solution. However, for women, it helps to have some feeling for one’s partner for the experience to be satisfactory, and that element would be missing with an escort. Consider discussing this with a licensed therapist to understand why your romantic relationships may not be happening, because there is definitely a reason.
DEAR READERS: At sundown, the first night of Passover begins. This major Jewish holiday celebrates the most momentous event in Jewish history — the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt. Happy Passover to my readers who observe this important holiday. — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
