The Shadow
DEAR ABBY: I am 57 and have never been married. I have had many relationships (some good, some bad). Although in the past I experienced heartbreaks, I am now open to meeting someone new.
I recently ended a relationship with “Bill,” a man I met at a resort casino three years ago. I was happy in the beginning, until things started to take a turn. Because we go to the same places all the time, it was hard to break it off. I tried, but Bill would run back to me, and I always took him back, mostly because I felt guilty for hurting him. I finally ended things for good four months ago, after he did something very rude. A neighbor later told me that Bill was stalking me. Bill denies this, even though I have proof.
Abby, I am writing because, for some reason, I’m still drawn to him. He’s the only man in my life who ever told me he loves me. I’m afraid no one will ever love me the way he does. I know the stalking is a sign that he is mentally unwell, yet we keep bumping into each other, which has caused this pull to want to be with him. I can’t afford therapy right now, so any advice you can give me to move beyond this “pull” I have for him would be appreciated. — HEART RULING THE HEAD
DEAR HEART: Honey, if you no longer frequent the places you used to frequent together and keep running into him anyway, has it occurred to you that it’s happening BECAUSE HE’S STILL STALKING YOU? If you’re still going to the same places, it’s time to change your routine. This troubled individual may be the only person who has said “I love you,” but he won’t be the last if you open yourself to other relationships.
You say you can’t afford therapy, but please be aware that free or low-cost counseling is available from your county’s department of mental health services or a local college or university with a psychology department.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been talking to a famous pro wrestler who is having marriage problems. He has been hitting on me through Google Chat. I just want to be a supportive friend whom he can vent to. He says his wife “is getting too old for him,” if you know what I mean. They have a joint bank account, but he says it’s frozen. He has asked me for an Apple card. I told him no and to ask his extended family instead.
Abby, I need my money to help out my brothers and sister. I’d prefer he be like a friend or big brother to me. I need major advice, please, because it feels like my life is going out of control. — UNCERTAIN IN IDAHO
DEAR UNCERTAIN: People must exercise caution when communicating with strangers online. “Famous pro wrestlers” usually have enough money that they aren’t reduced to hitting up women they meet on the internet for Apple cards. Your life will not “go out of control” unless you allow it to. Regain control by ghosting and blocking this person. He’s a scammer, and he, not you, should figure out his own financial problems.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
