I am not what I’d call an arachnophobe. But I might quickly become one. As most know, arachnophobia is the fear of spiders. I don’t think there are many who “like” spiders, but I’m sure there are some. Shoot – there are people who keep pythons in their homes.
Lately, it seems as if every day, I am surprised by a spider or two. Inside my home. I don’t mind the spiders outside. In fact, I like to sit and watch them spin webs and sit patiently waiting for a victim. As long as they are outside my porch, not inside it, I’m fine with spiders.
Just now, the thing that gave me the urge to write this column was a spider that scampered in that very quick way they have, right across my computer. I grabbed a tissue and tried to capture and smash it, but I think I missed. That means he is still lurking somewhere right near me, at this very minute.
At least, I hope the spider is a “he.” If he’s a “she,” that means there either are or soon will be baby spiders zipping around here. Gad!
Yesterday was the scariest encounter. It could have gone wrong so quickly, really. I picked up my pants from the bench that holds what I’m to wear that day, and out fell a huge spider. I mean huge! It was black, and overall, measured at least two or more inches wide.
Luckily, it landed near my feet on the rug, and I was wearing slippers. I quickly stepped on it, hard. It curled up and died in a ball. At least, I hope it died. I wouldn’t put it past a spider to fake its death and then come after me with malice in its spidery heart.
I imagined what might have happened. It might have stayed inside my pants, only to scurry around in there and bite me before I could tear my pants off. Or, worse, it might have somehow evaded me, and slipped into my nearby bed, to wreak fear and havoc while I slept.
Funny thing (not really), but just before I went to bed last night, I was watching an episode of Late Night with Stephen Colbert. And, during some segment, probably “Meanwhile,” it told of a boy who had an earache, and not one, but two, spiders were discovered in his ear. They actually showed a photo of this horror.
After just encountering the big spider that morning, I was aghast. My Lord! What if a spider gets into my bed and crawls inside my ear? Or my “anywhere,” really. This is just disgusting to even think of, and it makes me sort of fearful to go to bed at night.
When I pull down my covers, I look closely now. But, spiders that are lurking rarely let you see them. They are wily and stealthy.
Every spring and summer, it seems as if there is a new plague of something inside my house to fear and hunt down and kill if I can. I am also rather plagued with crickets this year. They are very difficult to kill. As soon as my slippered foot covers them for a stomp, they’re hopping off somewhere else.
One was hanging out in my bathroom sink the other night. I quietly reached under the sink and grabbed the spray bleach. I sprayed him good. He did not die. I sprayed him again. And again. I waited to wash his dead body down the drain, but it took way too long for that to happen.
Geez – is it any wonder I do not like this time of year? I don’t like crickets and spiders. I absolutely do not gotta love ‘em!
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